NBSB? Single by choice or by fate? Look no further hopeless romantics, the guide your looking for has finally arrived. Here is how to find Mr. Right!
With Valentine’s day looming over the horizon, everything around is about to get really love-dovey. There’s no escaping it! Flowers everywhere, chocolates going on sale, and stores being plastered with paper cut outs of hearts. That’s right people, every February is another reminder to singledom that there is a whole other world out there, a world that you share with a significant other.
It’s hard to admit, but for some people the idea of having someone to share your time with is truly a wonderful thing. True, it may seem trivial at first, but as you grow older you can’t help the thought from creeping up in your mind. Now listen up all of you NBSB and people who fate seem to be keeping single, it’s time to stop dreaming and start living that life you always wished for! Here is a guide to the best way to find Mr Right.
1. Stop Romanticizing Your (Future) Love Life
Ok, it’s time for some tough love (you want some loving? Now you’re going to get it.). This is the first and one of the most crucial steps you need to follow in order to find Mr. Right. Honestly, it may seem ironic that the very first step you need to acheive is to stop romanticizing. Wait a minute, love is romantic right? Why should you stop romanticizing the very thing that love is? Well, hate to break it to you but doing this might be very detrimental to your goal. Here’s why.
While growing up, countless generations have been bombarded with romantic stories in media. Just look at the countless John Lloyd and Bea Alonzo films that are part of every person’s movie catalogue during Single Awareness Day. No matter how much these movies seem like a reality, you must remember that they are in fact a fantasy. Yes, while they are fun to watch, these movies are programming your brain to believe that love and relationships look exactly like they do in the movies. Sorry my dear, but it isn’t.
Love is something more simple than that. And while some people do meet their significant other while soul-searching through their many bouts of wanderlust, that is not a common occurence. Most people just meet their significant other through more mundane ways. So take this advice to heart and believe that once you stop focusing on that movie like encounter with your significant other, you’ll be more likely to meet them sooner.
2. Get to Know Your Friends’ Friends
Did you know that most people met their significant other through a mutual friend? Shocking right? Everyone thought that love was just a swipe away, but it’s actually your best friend “Juan” that holds the key to finding the one. Note, this does not mean you go and stalk through your friend’s FB list to find who you like the best.
Take time to meet their friends through more natural settings. A perfect example is a friends birthday party which is full of their different friend circles. When you’re introduced to a new person strike a conversation with them. Who knows this person might just be the one you’ve been searching for!
3. Step out of Your Comfort Zone
Why would you leave your comfort zone? It’s so warm and fuzzy there! Plus, it has everything you like. Well, you’re still single right? So that means that your comfort zone isn’t allowing you to meet Mr. Right! It may be a scary thought to do something new because humans are creatures of habit, but when something doesn’t work you got to change it.
Don’t worry, stepping out of your comfort zone does not have to be so drastic. It can be as simple as going out more or taking new hobbies. You never know, Mr. Right might have been at that night out with your friends that you decided to skip because it was too far for you.
4. Expand Your Hobbies
Here is one of the best ways to meet new people! By trying out something new you’ll get exposed to more things and more people. Through finding new interests you’re actually achieving two goals with one step. First, you are reinventing who you are and learning more about yourself in the process – adding a blackbelt or a new dish you can cook is a sure fire way to be more interesting! Second, you are meeting new people. Bonus! You’re already sure that you share a common interest. This will make striking up a conversation with your potential beau so much easier. Who knows, that weekly class might just be the thing you need to get close to one another.
5. Make a List of What You Want, but Don’t Check It Twice
Here is something that most people are doing when they search for Mr. Right. They make a list of things that they want Mr. Right to be and they stick with it 100%. While it’s good to know what you want, sometimes you have to face that reality that your future significant other might not check off everything on your checklist.
This step goes hand in hand with step number one because you shouldn’t romanticize your future partner too much. Not only does this put pressure on whoever you date, but it puts pressure on you as well. There have been too many people who decided to break off a relationship or decided not to go out with a person because of this. So what if that potential partner did not full-fill their checklist 100%? Your personal checklist is your ideal and should just be a guide to what you look for in a partner. Mr. Right isn’t perfect, he is human just like you.
6. Be Emotionally and Financially Stable
This is something you truly need to get ready for. Dating is not only expensive on your wallet, it will also drain every single ounce of emotion you have. While searching for Mr. Right you’ll go through so many bad dates that you will begin to ask yourself why you’re even playing the dating game. You’ll also go through the pain of rejection and having to turning down
people who you are not connecting with. That’s just the reality of dating, but once you meet Mr.Right everything will be worth it.
Also, being emotionally and financially stable means that you won’t rely too much on the help of others. You wouldn’t want Mr. Right paying for everything! It will also be tiring for anyone who has to always boost up a pessimist. This not only makes you a strong independent woman (or man), but it shows that you can endure the toughest punches that life will give you. Someone who can stand on their own two feet and laugh at everything life throws at them is not only very attractive, but also a quality everyone looks for in a partner.
7. Don’t Give up but Don’t Be Too Eager
If you been heart broken before or never experienced being in a relationship, then it might feel easy to give up on finding Mr. Right. This is the last thing you should do. You obviously diminish your chances of finding Mr. Right if you close yourself off from any potential relationship. Keep yourself open, but don’t make finding a relationship your only priority in life.
Moderation is always the key to any endeavour. Put yourself in the shoes of your potential partner, if you deflect all their attempts they would more likely move on from pursuing you. On the other hand, if you’re to eager it would make you seem desperate. And that is not the impression you would want anyone to have of you. Show them that you’re happy by yourself, but would also love to share your life with someone.
8. Be Confident
Photo via Odyssey
Confidence is like an aura that attracts people to you. Imagine the best and happiest smile you ever saw. How did that make you feel? Happy, right? That my friend is what people see when you have confidence. It shows that you are sure of yourself and are happy with who you are.
Yes, it’s ok to assume that Mr. Right make you feel good about yourself when you’re feeling down, but being confident in yourself will make you more of an optimist and will make it a joy for anyone to be around you.
9. Be in It for the Long Haul
This mindset is very important when searching for Mr. Right. Actually, it can be the deciding factor whether a partner becomes Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now. When you find a person you want to be with think of the end-game. Is he someone you’re willing to be your happily ever after? If so, remember that a relationship is a commitment. Like earlier mentioned, no one is perfect and for that person to become Mr. Right both of you have to be willing to work together and fix your problems. You have to learn how to make it work, or else he’ll just be another fling.
When you enter a relationship thinking that it wouldn’t last anyway, you hurt both parties involved in the relationship. This person is also investing his time on you. If one of you think that your relationship is just a temporary arrangement, then you’re bound to break up at some point. Take note of Sarah G’s lyrics in her song Tala: “Kung umabot hangang dulo. Kapit lang nang mahigpit at aabutin nating ang mga tala” (If it’s us in the end, then hold on tight and we will reach the stars). So make sure that when you agree to a committed relationship it’s only with someone that you see yourself being with for the long haul.
10. Go and Love Yourself
This is the most important step by far. It is a common belief that when someone finds their significant other they will suddenly be complete. After all the term used for a significant other is someone’s other half. While this is true you have to remember that this equation does not follow the conventional rules of mathematics. Love is a whole different ballgame. It’s not a half and a half make a whole when you talk about a relationship. It’s like how the old Spice Girls song goes, a relationship is when two become one. Two wholes forming one cohesive relationship. Being in a relationship does not make you magically happy with who you are. You have to be happy being single before a relationship you enter can become a successful one.
Remember, you are what you attract. So become everything that you want Mr. Right to be. Be happy, driven, and successful and you will find someone who is in the same mindset as you. There is more love to go around when the two people in a relationship love themselves. This allows them to be overflowing with affection for one another, that everything just works out.
Follow these steps and you are sure to find Mr. Right. Love will come to those who are happy and love themselves. Mr.Right is just around the corner, you just need to step out of your comfort zone, expand your interests, and meet more people! Don’t give up and keep yourself open to new relationships, Mr. Right is eager to meet you as well. He just needs the opportunity to bump into you. Who knows, you might already have that connection that will lead you too him! It may sound like advice from a fortune cookie, but that doesn’t make it any less true. So, good luck Eventurers! The love of your life is closer than you think.